Take Me Home

Phil Collins – Take Me Home

Take that look of worry 
I’m an ordinary man 
They don’t tell me nothing 
So I find out what I can 
There’s a fire that’s been burning 
Right outside my door 
I can’t see but I feel it 
And it helps to keep me warm 
So I, I don’t mind 
No I, I don’t mind 

Seems so long I’ve been waiting 
Still don’t know what for 
There’s no point escaping 
I don’t worry anymore 
I can’t come out to find you 
I don’t like to go outside 
They can’t turn off my feelings 
Like they’re turning off a light 
But I, I don’t mind 
No I, I don’t mind 
Oh I, I don’t mind 
No I, I don’t mind 

So take, take me home 
Cos I don’t remember 
Take, take me home 
Cos I don’t remember 
Take, take me home 
Cos I don’t remember 
Take, take me home, oh lord 
Cos I’ve been a prisoner all my life 
And I can say to you 

Take that look of worry, mine’s an ordinary life 
Working when it’s daylight 
And sleeping when it’s night 
I’ve got no far horizons 
I don’t wish upon a star 
They don’t think that I listen 
Oh but I know who they are 
And I, I don’t mind 
No I, I don’t mind 
Oh I, I don’t mind 
No I, I don’t mind 

So take, take me home 
Cos I don’t remember 
Take, take me home 
Cos I don’t remember 
Take, take me home 
Cos I don’t remember 
Take, take me home, oh lord 
Well I’ve been a prisoner all my life 
And I can say to you 

But I don’t remember 
Take, take me home..

I made it home…

So as I sit here waiting for the representatives from Anytime Fitness to get here and start 2 straight days of filming, I can’t help but reflect on the journey I’ve been on and the many reasons why they’re coming to little ol’ Santa Rosa in the first place. It’s like I said at the Rebel X wrap party, my successes were achieved WELL BEFORE any recognition. THAT is when the true success story takes place.. When no one is watching but you. When the ball is in your court and YOU get to decide whether you’re going to pass it or drive that son-of-a-bitch to the paint and dunk on some fools. EVERYONE is living their own success story every single day, and the way I see it, I’ve been chosen to be a representative for the every-man. For the people who don’t get the credit they deserve. To the real life warriors and rebels refusing to settle for anything less. The moms, dads, students, doctors, wine makers, grocery store attendants, teachers, nurses, police officers, firemen, entrepreneurs,  mechanics, personal trainers, business owners, preachers, the unemployed… We all have our struggles. What those struggles are differ from person to person, but when you pinpoint a spot on a map and tell everyone “this is the goal!” well, it doesn’t matter everyone’s starting point… What matters is that we all realize we’re going to the same place… I took the liberty of naming that spot “love and happiness.”

A big part of my own personal journey is the song “Take Me Home” by Phil Collins. I used to listen to this song on my cd player when I started at the gym some 12 years ago. I had to go to radio shack and pay $10 that  mowed a couple lawns for so I could get an extender cable and put my CD player on the floor while I worked that Reebok cycler like it disrespected my family.

Every single milestone I’ve ever come across, this song was a part of it. This last orientation, I holed myself up in the office and listened to this song on repeat for 10 minutes before I went out and addressed everyone. Body building competitions, my first 8k, tough mudder… This song was there for the beginning, middle, and end.

What I want to share is what this song means to me…

I see “Take Me Home” as being open to interpretation. The way I see it, “home” refers to a sense of self. A calming place where you know everything is going to be alright. This doesn’t have to be a location… For me it’s a state of mind. To me, it’s that state of mind that can make or break you. Strong mind, strong body right?

This first verse, I want you to read it (above). To me, he’s basically saying “don’t worry about me… I’m a regular guy, but I will always figure out what I need to figure out. With that said, I’ve got a fire in me unlike the worlds ever seen. You may think me average, but I’ve got something special coming my way. I’m not quite sure what it is, but until then… I’ve got this covered”

This verse has always struck a nerve with me because this is how I’ve always felt. I’ve told quite a few people this, but I haven’t put it down in writing yet… One of the MAJOR reasons I haven’t told anybody about the bullying story I’ve been through is because I wanted to accomplish something on MY OWN. I didn’t want to be viewed through rose, magenta, fusia, or anything colored glasses. That was the PROBLEM. I HATED how I was viewed, and I hated even more so how I viewed myself. I didn’t want to accomplish anything based on the fact that people felt bad for me… I wanted my secret fuel to be just that… Mine. I wanted to earn what I wanted. I wanted to show myself that it doesn’t matter what tribulations are thrown my way. It’s either sink or swim, and I REFUSED to sink.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll figure this out…”

The second verse is really special to me. The second verse is what I’ve felt in my heart and soul for a long, long time. To me, he’s saying “I’m destined for great things, I just don’t know what. I have this feeling that I’m on the right path, even if it doesn’t seem like it right away. Besides, why worry about things that you have no control over? Once you realize that, the ability to worry gets severely downgraded. If it seems like I’m not being all that social, don’t worry… It’s all part of my plan. I know what I’m doing. If you’re not into what I’m doing well then that’s ok. I won’t let your feelings about ME bring me down any long. If you’re going to let what I’M doing effect how you feel about yourself, then that’s ok… I don’t mind. Good luck with that.”

Those first two verses ALWAYS bring me “home.” The day I was strung up on some bleachers to be reminded I was lesser than was the day I became me. It was the day I refused to take anybody else’s grief ever again, most importantly my own. I was through feeling the weight of others negativity and allowing it to cause MY negativity to spread like cancer. Everybody knows what it feels like to beat yourself up to the point of believing you’re not awesome. That loving yourself is an impossibility. You know how much EFFORT goes into that? You know how much ENERGY is drained convincing yourself you’re not good enough? What if I told you that all it takes is a little alternating of your mind-rudder and you can take the SAME AMOUNT OF ENERGY and use it to feel good about yourself? If you’re going to wear yourself out, might as well be sprinting  towards the sunlight and avoiding the dark, dark shade.

The chorus is beautiful. A reminder to himself, rather than to the world that all it takes is the power of self to get centered. “Take me home, because I don’t remember…” He’s saying “I need to check myself before I wreck myself.”

“I’ve been a prisoner all my life, and I can say to you…”

No more. I refuse to be a prisoner when I can be the gatekeeper.

The 3rd verse is all about the dedication it takes to self. He’s saying “I’m just like you… I wake up and work the day and go home to go to sleep at night, only to wake up to do it all over again tomorrow. I don’t believe in luck or happenstance, so don’t think you’ll find me making any desperate wishes for something that I have the power to achieve. While you’re busy doing your thing, I’ll be biding my time and keeping a close eye on all opportunities coming my way.”

Whenever I feel things are getting out of hand, I listen to this song. The lyrics provided by Mr. Collins are ones that I find can ALWAYS instill a sense of tranquility and confidence when I feel it slipping. It reminds me of the person I will forever aspire to be… Someone with a strong work ethic that recognizes fighting for goodness is what makes it so good in the first place. I want to be someone who is not only capable of loving in its entirety but capable of loving myself completely as well. As long as I keep that frame of mind on the forefront of my circus called a brain, then I’ll have no trouble finding “home.”

– Rebel8

2 comments on “Take Me Home

  1. I think that what you posted made a great deal of sense.

    However, think on this, what if you added a little information?

    I am not saying your information isn’t good., but suppose you added a headline that makes people desire more? I mean Take Me Home | The Fitness Rebellion is kinda vanilla. You ought to glance at Yahoo’s front
    page and see how they create article headlines to get viewers to click.

    You might try adding a video or a pic or two to grab readers
    excited about what you’ve got to say. In my opinion, it might bring your posts a little bit more interesting.

    • Thank you your suggestions.

      However, your comment was riddled with assumptions about the intent of the post. With the intent of the website actually… I have plenty of photos and video pieces all over my site. This piece was written as an introspect to an orientation to a new event that was happening. Quite frankly, this wasn’t written as a “grab everyone’s attention” piece, but a reflection for ME to share.

      Your comment is the equivalent of “the stories good but I don’t like books without pictures because its not stimulating enough.”

      Thank you for your concern, but my website and that particular post is exactly what I want it to be :).

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