Good God, working out sucks.
The alternative is way worse though…
With that being said holy shit am I exhausted. However, it’s that good fatigue for suresy! It’s that kind of tired that you work for, you know? It’s not the “I ate a whole jar of peanut butter before bed and feel like a hibernating bear in the morning” kind of drained but that earned exhaustion where your body feels utilized and sends endorphin overloads that say “you better sit the fuck down or we’ll MAKE you sit the fuck down.”
After yesterday mornings beach workout with fellow World’s Toughest Justin “TAAAAAAAAH!!” Zuiderweg and a killer trail run this morning with the Unicorn I am, indeed, sitting the fuck down.
This week in training was the opposite of an exercise in futility. I gave myself goals and I hit them all:
* Make yoga once this week
* Run 15 miles total
* Get in a savage beach workout
* 4 weight training days
* minimum 30 total minutes on the “Lateral X”
* Increased vegetable intake
* Increased breakfast intake
* Reduced night time eating intake
I’m stoked that I hit me goals but I’m even more amped that at the end of this week I’m not obsessive over it the way I feared my hyperactive brain might be. I also have a healthy perspective in the sense that this week was amazing yet I know I may not be able to hit my goals sometime in the future and that’s ok! I’m relishing the present success rather than fearing the future potential failure. The reason why it’s a big deal to me is that in the past I would have a good week and get stressed the fuck out and feel under pressure like Billy Joel to the point of panic attacking my way to giving up or spinning out of control. I would crumble because of the success which although ludicrous it happens to people more often than we think. Translation; I’m one of many people that get scared of a good thing and subconsciously sabotage myself to fail so that I’m still in control. You can’t control the exact trajectory of success but you can manage your demise.
Do you ever find yourself managing your own failure? Think about it…
A lot of forms of self abuse are really just ways to feel in charge of ourselves by giving us a dynamic “thing” to keep in check when we feel like we don’t have a firm grasp on ANYTHING. Needless to say I’m pretty pumped I’m not feeling that way this time around.
So even with all this fatigue I can feel my body cogs working their way back into top knotch super saiyan status which makes me look forward to this coming week the same way I used to look forward to deep frying a family sized bag of tator tots with bacon, cheddar cheese, and ranch as a kid. PRIORITIES!
My goals for the coming week are the same as above but after today’s amazing trail run through Annadel with Cara I decided I need to get in at least 1 trail running session a week. For me my body comes alive on those trails unlike anywhere else. It caters perfectly to my Mad-Hatter-Meets-Robocop mindset.
It tunnel visions me properly while giving my brain something to stay focused on while my body pings back and forth like I’m trying out for American Ninja Warrior and I’m totaaaaaallllllyyyyy gonna conquer Mt. Midoriyama. Seriously, it’s a trip! It’s like my brain and body are making microcosmic decisions and calibrations and when I zone in I’m more just along for the ride than anything else. The rad factor is high for me because I’ll never forget where I’ve come from… especially in these moments.
My challenge in this moment is I want to eat the crappiest food imaginable because exhaustion is a nasty siren with devilishly persuading tendencies. I mean, after the week I’ve had it’s like I deserve a large pizza to myself right? Right…?
No, that’s not what I deserve. I deserve to feel great and eating an entire large pizza has never done that for me (and trust me when I say I have a lot of data collected on the matter). It’s not about weight gain or feeling fat… because truthfully I’ve worked hard enough this week and have accumulated enough muscle mass over the years that I could rock that large pizza with a bag of chips and a super burrito and aside from the 2 inch bloat suit I’d undoubtedly be wearing in the morning time I wouldn’t gain any true weight… I recognize that. That understanding was dangerous information for me a few years back. It was an excuse to do it. Don’t get me wrong… I still give in to that twisted thought process more often than I’m comfortable admitting, but not as often as I stay away from it which is VICTORY BABY!
It’s about feeling like a million bucks. It’s about setting yourself up to create and take advantage of self betterment opportunities that wait for you around every corner… You just have to look for them, Well, I’m looking alright… I promised I’m showing up to Vegas come November in the best shape of my life and I will swear by that until it’s over and I’m holding that World’s Toughest Mudder headband up high.
Thanks for the accountability, Rebels! Until next time…