Have you ever felt uncomfortable in your surroundings? Have you ever found yourself struggling to fit in only to succumb to the fact that this is how things always will be and you might as well get used to it? Have you ever experienced a struggle with food? Whether it’s not being able to put it down, not being able to pick it up without feeling guilty, or not being able to recognize the difference between friend and sustenance… odds are a great majority of you already relate in there somewhere…
Meet David Moody.
David Moody, like a lot of people, found out through logging a lot of data hours that kids are cruel. From a very young age, he had a tough time fitting in and didn’t really know why. He did everything he could, even trying out for his high school’s football team (he eventually got cut), yet nothing worked. David still felt the sting of all the haunting taunts and hateful names he got called on a daily basis no matter what line of defense he took. Until the 7th grade, when he gave food a shot…
After a particularly tough day, David found himself wandering to the cabinet almost instinctively;searching for something to soothe the anguish he couldn’t get rid of. This is where the fireworks went off. The brain band-aid was laid out and it clicked… Food was the ticket! Food wasn’t going to make fun of him. It wasn’t going to give him a hard time. It would always be there whenever he needed it. It would never let him down nor could HE let food down! Food somehow always managed to mask the anguish, anxiety, and pain of the day to day so David started to prescribe himself heavy doses of waaaaaaaaaaay to many calorie injections. Had a rough day? The cupboard always had something to take care of that… Feeling lonely? Bacon to the rescue! This coping mechanism worked great until he got caught… His parents reminded him that all the food he was inhaling was for family dinners. Money was really tight already, so to overdue eating like that at the sake of his family was enough to get him to stop.
At least, that’s what one would hope.
David became extremely good at hiding his eating habits. An expert at hiding the wrappers and getting rid of any incriminating evidence. He was pulling CSI maneuvers before there was a CSI. The reason I’m telling you all of this is because it further deepened his relationship with food. Made it almost like a secret lover… “Of COURSE the world is going to judge me no matter WHAT I do… but food will always be there! Don’t worry baby, it’ll be our little secret…” The secret was out though and David had no idea. He was in complete denial about the adverse affect all the food was having on his body and mind. He didn’t see all the weight he was gaining. The lethargy taking place. The lack of energy in NO WAY had anything to do with the fact that he had consumed candy like he was a dumpster at the Hershey factory. The skin issues he started to generate? The high blood pressure? Borderline onset diabetes? High cholesterol? kidney stones? Nothing baggy clothes, hanging out with people in similarly destitute situations, and becoming the definition of a homebody so you’d never have to put yourself out there couldn’t fix!
Then one day about 12 years ago, David was at work. At his desk, he had himself 3 monitors all set up in front of him; One in front of him and 2 to each side. He was about to leave work, and was shutting down all the monitors for the evening. David had just gotten done binge eating through his candy drawer, polishing off some chips, and ordering a pizza when he glanced over and caught his reflection in the computer monitor. “Oh my god… I’m fat…” hit him like a ton of bricks as he scanned and poured over this reflection that COULDN’T be his… Could it? The YEARS of denial and passing blame on to others had caught up with him in a big way. Suddenly, his brain quit denying the fact that he was a mess. Harder to cope with was the realization that he had put himself INTO that mess in the first place! Could you imagine that double whammy?
This is the part of the story where I wish I could tell you that he turned his life around, made positive changes, and he’s spent the last 12 years inspiring others to do the same. I want to tell that to you so bad. However, that is not the case. For the next 11 years, he had lost the comfort of ignorance and now lived with the awful reality that he was broken and didn’t know how to fix his internal issues. On the outside everything appeared to be great, he had a successful job at Industrial Light and Magic, his job allowed for travel and a TON of life experiences! Everything could be looked at as fine on the outside!
The issues that started since early childhood had only intensified however. The bigger the beast, the harder it was to control. The more stress and anxiety it created. He joined several different gyms and went at MOST twice to each one. He always managed to find excuses not to go and eventually even hated the fact he was making excuses in the first place! To let yourself down over and over again, KNOW you’re letting yourself down over and over again, and still not fix the problem is not only extremely hard to deal with, but is also indicative of needing to change your perspective. What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results. David hadn’t come to realize it was a complete lifestyle change. He hadn’t realized that it would take a fresh mind and a lot of hard work starting with his heart and brain first and foremost to undo the lifetime of habits he had grown accustomed to. Rome wasn’t built in a day, thus it is impossible to strip it all down in one day as well. That fact often gets lost when goal setting.
David had tried every crash diet imaginable. Atkins, South Beach, Hollywood… Nothin’. He gave a failed attempt at Weight Watchers but found that futile. Binge eating and purging were to no avail. Diet pills, acupuncture, psychiatrist… Nothing stuck. After years and years of this yo-yo routine, he found himself living literally right next door to a nautilus gym. He managed to continue going for a straight month! A WHOLE MONTH! David, however, still hadn’t realized he needed to fix how he viewed the journey. He found himself working out with the “I can’t wait to eat because I worked so hard and that makes it ok to eat whatever I want!” mentality. He viewed the light at the end of the tunnel being the only thing that’s important. He hadn’t realized that it’s the tunnel itself that is A) never ending, B) enjoyable, and C) where all the magic happens. So, after that successful month, he went right back to old habits.
Then, one day about a year ago, David came across some healthy lifestyle success stories while surfing the internet. After scouring over a few, he found himself ready to give taking care of himself properly another shot! He thought to himself “this can’t be it for me… not yet…” Full of new hope, he remembered there was a gym just a hop, skip, and a jump away from his house! He always drove by it, but never found a reason for it to stand out. Well, the success stories he read were about people taking charge of their own lives. He didn’t know it yet, but THAT was the difference. THAT moment, when his spark of inspiration came from people taking charge of their own health and destiny, was what his perspective needed. Like a defibrillator to his heart and soul, he found a reason for that little gym down the street from his house to stand out. The reason was him.
Don’t get me wrong, that realization was very flighty in the beginning… but it was there. It had already planted its roots and by this point, there was nothing David could do to shake it. He got himself a trainer at the gym. He had worked with trainers before, but this guy was a bit different. He had similar life issues to his own, and was not only VERY open about them (because David wasn’t quite ready to reveal himself that much yet) but had conquered quite a bit of them as well! Slowly but surely, that confidence started to build… The “it” factor David couldn’t find… He found it. After about 20 pounds lost via healthy decisions his new trainer had helped him out with, he found himself getting ready to do the impossible. David had come to the point where he was ready to shatter every comfort zone he had ever known and put himself to the ultimate test.
He joined a boot camp program. With a spastic trainer who seemed extremely intimidating. With a LOT of people. Where they scream, chant, yell, have team songs, and nicknames. Yeah, his comfort zone was null and void. Come to find out though, that intimidating trainer happened to be a great friend and mentor of the trainer he’d been working with! More surprised yet, this athletic trainer had a weight loss/ life changing journey himself! New fears arose however… What if I look stupid yelling? What if I can’t keep up? What if everyone hates me because I hold them back? What if I quit and stop showing up the way I ALWAYS do? What if I let my trainer down? What if I let my wife down? What if people make fun of me because I look like a fool trying to learn all these things they already know? What if I’m the fat guy? What if I’m the shy guy? What if…
You get the picture.
Like I said though, David was ready… He took all these questions and applied his new found realization; The only way he was ever going to take charge of his own life like the success stories that inspired him in the first place was to battle a lot of the hard questions that he had shrugged off for years. “You get the results people don’t get by doing the work people don’t do” is a motto yelled out constantly by the trainer in the new boot camp he had just joined. He realized this didn’t apply purely to physical fitness… In fact, David realized this was only a FRACTION about physical fitness! Most people don’t find themselves worthy enough to fight for. All of a sudden, his eyes opened and he saw truth… He is MORE than worthy to fight for. In this new found group, David found he was FAR from the only one who had issues like his! All of his new found friends were looking for a group of people who thought just like they did. Who felt that health and happiness far outweighed stress and loathing. Who wanted to fight for THEMSELVES rather than submit to settling for misery. The wonderful part was that when he was having a bad day, this group of people who called themselves “Rebels” would lift him up in an instant. He also found the joy of being able to share HIS good days with those who weren’t have the brightest of ones. It was a checks and balance system for ALL aspects of fitness, and David hasn’t looked back since…
It was through these new experiences that David realized all along he was chasing the result and trying to cut corners to get there, not realizing there was a lot to work through that had nothing to do with how strict your eating is or how hard you worked out. He saw that until he was able to see the GOOD from taking care of himself, it’ll always be a chore and always be negative. Plant a positive seed, get a positive flower. Plant a negative seed…
I can now say that David has lost over 30 pounds in the last ten months. He’s able to hold a plank for the length of an entire long song where before he wasn’t able to hold his breathe without fear of a heart attack. He is developing a healthy relationship with food and that completely coincides with his new found love of not only taking care of his body, but working out with others. He no longer shy’s away from being in public for fear of being judged. No longer does he reject his self worth. Sure, he has his good days and his bad, but David knows how to deal with the bad days now. For the things he DOESN’T know how to deal with, David has found a new support group with his Rebels. He’s able to talk about his issues now rather than bottling it up inside and trying to keep up a front of invincibility.
The sunshine is brighter now. The laughs are heartier. The sleep is sounder. Life… is better. All it took was a lifetime to work out one simple fact to turn it all around…
“I’m worth it.”
The Fitness Rebellion 